Greetings, alien from Saturn! You have stepped in the online abode of Heng Jiacheng, which houses his/her mindless musings and lovely rantings.
You're obviously permitted to have a look around, but of course, itchy fingers aren't entertained - so don't take what's not yours. ;)
JOKES
Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 9:12 PM

there was a ship and there were 3 guys on the ship ...the ship crash onto a big rock and it began to sink ...the 3 guys swim with all their might and strengthand finally they came to an island....the island was very small and could only fit 5 ppl at the most and there was a coconut tree in the middle of the island and there was not even a coconut on it so the 3 guys become to worry if there was still no food and drinks for the next 3 days they would die ...then 1 of the guy became to kick the sand and suddenly he kicked something hard and he dig out the thing it happen to be a lamp so he began to rub and a genie came out from it and the genie could only give them 3 wish each 1 1 wish...so the 1st guy wished tat he could immidiately be back home ..the genie say ur wish is my command and so he was back home the 2nd guy was even smarter he say tat he would 1 to be back home with 3 sports car living in a bungalow and with 1 million in his bank acc and the genie say ur wish is my command and so his wish was a success..so the genie came to the 3rd guy and saw tat he was crying and ask him y and he say he miss his two friends and bomb his 2 friends were back to tat island again and the genie disappeared^^




joke number 2
A little boy was visiting his grandmother and the young boy asked his grandmother,"grandma, how old are you"? She replied, "you shouldn't ask me questions like that". A few minutes past and the young boy asked his grandmother another question, "how much do you weight"? The grandmother replied, "you shouldn't ask me questions like that"! The following week when the little boy went back to school he told his friends about the coversation he had with his grandmother and how he was unable to get an answer from her. The little boy's friends advised him to look on her drivers license, all t he information will be there. The next week when the little boy was visiting his grandmother he told her he knew how much she weighed and how old she was. The grandmother didn't believe him until he told her,"you weight 130lb., and you are 65 years old". Then the little boy in a shyful way whispered to his grandmother, "I also know you got an F in Sex".

JOKE BOOK 3 MY OWN VERSION WOOTS WOOTS
@ 7:34 PM

THIS AIMS TO OUT LAME ocy, whether its funny, its up to you.


What's brown and sticky?
A STICK ahahahaha


What did the apple say to the orange?

Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.


which of king arthur's knights sat round the whole round table?

sir cumference HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA


wad does mozart do when he dies

HE DECOMPOSES ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

^^wat do batman say when he is in pain?
painful sia(his chinese name for batman)


cool right, stay tune for more

RIDDLES
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 @ 7:08 PM

Let me share with you one good riddle that i bet you would not understand "dun read the bottom"

I came on tuesday and 2 days later, i left on tuesday

HOW is that logical???


ANS: tuesday is a horse


and lets end today with anther OCY joke......

theres a girl whose name is charity, and she has big assets
wad is the name of her chest??

COMMUNTY CHEST hahahaha get it!! ~.~

KOREAN KRAZE
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 @ 7:33 PM

My exams are just 2weeks away, and guess how i prepare for them?.... I watch korean dramasXD......NICE dramas i have watched soo far
-ILJIMAE
-ZHUMENG
-romance stuff (i cant really remember names but lots of them)....dun really fancy them but kindof like it though
-茶母
-海神

lots more i cant remember name. Sad case i cant find anyfriends who likes korean dramas, but theres one way i can use to get their attention, try this.

me talking to " X"man
ME:" X"
X:"....."
ME"X"
X"wad"
ME:""HI^^"
X:"DOTZZZ"
ME:" X"
X:"....."
ME"X"
X"wad"
ME:""HI^^"
X"stop it wad you want"
ME:"(start to share wad i like)"

see that shows you that bugging ppl can turn things to your advantage

JOKING around
Sunday, February 8, 2009 @ 9:36 PM

What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions?
What do you get when you squeeze an olive? Oliver Twist!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens!
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? "Thanks, I'll never part with it!"
What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polly Unsaturated
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call two men with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Curt and Rod (curtain rod)
What goes 99-thump, 99-thump? A centipede with a wooden leg.
Why was the man arrested for waiting in the Big Top? He was loitering within tent.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. (no eye dear) What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes? Still no idea.
What's long, yellow and fruity? An apple in disguise.
What's black white black white black white black white black white...a penguin rolling down the stairs.


acknowledgement~~http://www.parentinghumor.com/activityecenter/jokes/lame.htm

I know im not original..............

BEING orginal
@ 9:32 PM

OKOK fine I know its bad taking jokes from others, therefore i will try to have my own jokes, PLZ support me by laughing. It might be hard, but ppl like MOSES say that im not ORGINAL and im a "stupid rip offer".

First joke......BEHOLD:
ME:"i tell you a joke"
Someone:"OK"
ME:"HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA"
someone:"??"
ME:"GET IT A JOKE!!!!"

PAIN in the ARSE right, yup thats wad i aim for ^ to kik ur arse^^XD

OCY's joke book number 1
Saturday, February 7, 2009 @ 3:27 PM

1. there was guy called dow. he had a race with his friend whose name was glass. who won the race?

glass. because glass win dow( glass window)

2. there are different classes of spies, there are "A" spies, "K" spies, "J" spies, but which class of spies are the most looked down on, the most hated?

"D" spies. (Despise)

3. A man called cumber went on a date with his girlfriend, her name was Sea. how come after the date Cumber was never seen again?

Because Sea Kill Cumber (Sea Cucumber)

4. Why did i eat the mosquito?

I wanted my blood back.

5. Which Pokemon is the most healthy, the most not oily Pokemon to eat?

Butter-Free

6. Which building has the most number of stories?

The Library.

7. What do perverts who pray on little boys have in their computers?

Pedo-Files (Pedophiles)

8. Man Tou 1 and Char Sau Bao 1 watched a movie, how come Char Sau Bao 1 cry but Man Tou 1 never cry?

Because Man Tou 1 no filling (feeling).

9. Char Sau Bao 1 and Dou Sha Bao 1 watched a movie, how come Char Sau Bao 1 cry but Dou Sha Bao 1 laugh?

Because different filling (feeling).

10. Char Sau Bao 1 and Char Sau Bao 2 watched a movie. How come Char Sau Bao 2 cry but Char Sau Bao 1 never cry?

Because Char Sau Bao 1 watched the movie twice already.

HAHAHAHA

OCYs joke book one
@ 3:22 PM

1.The Fray and Oprah had a roadshow. which roadshow won in attendance.

Oprah! cos oprah win fray! (Oprah Winfrey)

2. What kind of books are damn fit?

Exercise books.

3. My math book went to the counsellor that day.

It had too many problems.4.

what do you call a sexy and pretty cow?

A chio-bull!

5. what kind of grapes always have to stand on the mrt.

Seatless grapes! (Seedless grapes)

6. Which is noisier, bread or coffee?

Bread! cos breadtalk and Kopitiam!

7. Doctor: Have you taken the patients temperature?

Nurse: No, has it gone missing?Contributed by others

8. (Andre Chan) which mrt station rears goats.

Dhoby Goat! (dhoby ghaut)

9. (Gregory) who is roberto baggio's greatest rival?

Roberto Harvesackgio!!!!!!!

10. (Thanaraj) Knock KnockWho's there?

ajiliabameatikamaajiliabameatikama who?ajiliabameatikamanamajiwaka!

11. (thanaraj) if i hold 12 oranges in my left hand, and 14 oranges in my right hand. what do i have?

Big Hands!




LOL this is god damn hilarious man check out more of his jokes on joke book 2

Check me OuT
Friday, February 6, 2009 @ 11:46 PM

Yeah today rwaks man. I get to lead the school in pledge, how cool is that. I had to say "school attention, the national anthem" as well as " the pledge" in front of the school. WOOTS!btw i forgotten my pledge cause i was too nervous. ANYWAYS im glad that im in SJI. Just an intro of myself...for those who dun noe me but who cares. IM a field (discus thrower) who throws practically everything from shoes to stones. HA. and im gonna represent my school (might) NOT CONFIRMED this year again and im glad cause i get to get a jersey and CCA points even though i know i might not win okok sure wont win. Im also a nerd cause i get to go into a nerd class just because i did well for my sec 2 streaming examinations, acing the exams, im being streamed to a nine subject class mainly :english chinese higher chinese full humans which is geog elect lit and social studies maths a maths thriple science and ermmm aiya wadeva. MY CLASS IS FILLED WITH NERDY SCHOLARS OH NO it sucks BTW if u Noe what are scholars.

(MORE ABOUT SCHOLARS)
scholars are uber nerds if u dun noe wad nerds are they are people who reads and studies all their life, and if u dun believe me go check one out urself. my class is half filled with them, they made life in school much more miserable and guess wad, im surrounded by them. And u noe diffusion, yeah diffusion ; its the net movement of particles from a region of higher concentration to the region of lower concentration......... And WALLA there u have it. the nerd power diffused to me and now i feel more nerdy cool right^^.

Im getting bored now but let me list out a few interesting traits about me ^^ yeah cool right

Firstly i feel that im a great leader. It all started from a simple thing called speaking to the class for show and tell...zzzzzz. okok since than, i felt compelled to talking aloud, even if it involves making a fool out of myself..... yaya i noe some ppl might say im a fool even when i nvr say anything, just by looking at my face eh look that dick head.Like i guess u noe wad i mean if u know me right^^.okok back to the leadership thing. this year in my new sec three class, i got myself a sit in the class commitee, and thats like soo cool, cause im doinig the slackiest stuff of being the CCA rep, thats nice right. all i do is to make sure the class does wad they need to do (30 pushups ) (30 situps) which i made them to 3 each only, and thats y im soo popular. oh ya talking about popularity.................

IM SOO DAMN POPULAR yeah y yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, thats because im myself right?SUMMArrise it for gods sake oh okok~~~~~~for those who dun noe me im a full pledge retard who is less than the square rootssssss of the worst elistist okok how cools that. BACK to the point. IM a PSL short for peer support leader not private sex lecturer LOL. that means im invovled in the sec one orientation camp which is only carried out my students, no teachers invovled. And thus im famous. Furthermore i led the pledge, soo im even more famous to the extend that walking to the busstop, some ppl will come out to me and call my name, and i will be like " ohoh hihi who are u i dun know u. ITS ok hi........" . Apart from that, im also a sports leader, inspiring sec 3 and a awesome senior in track and field>>>>>>>YEAH.

OH btw i would like to introduce you to a fren of my, in which i would be copy writing most of the jokes to fill up my blank spaces in the blog
waiwait i will have to ask for his permission...........................HE DAOED me okok silent means consent^^ctrl C time